last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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