I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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