Need sex. Gaining weight.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
