someone threw a dead crab at me
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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