Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
