I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
