Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
this boner is exhausting
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
