Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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