I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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