I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize