On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
