is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
