I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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