i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
