It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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