the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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