my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
