Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
