Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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