I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
