party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
