My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
