is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
