so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
and you fell through a lawn chair
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
