i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
