You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
