Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
