Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
