Moan for me like Helen Keller
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
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