dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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