nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize