My room smells like vodka and shame
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
