i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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