i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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