next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
