That's intense
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
So much rum. So many feels.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
