everyone is single if you try hard enough
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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