Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
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