Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
