Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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