i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
The beer is more important than you right now.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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