absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
