There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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