Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Shame - the story of my life.
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