Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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