In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
My ass is underappreciated
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
