in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I deserve this hangover.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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