I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
now i know why i became what i already was.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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