can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize