He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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