everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
