Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
