So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize