Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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