theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
So vagazzling was a success
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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