I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
