When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
