You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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