I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
So here I am, sexting at work.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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