just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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