Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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