Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
