don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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