dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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